maybe they're afraid of you, BECAUSE YOU'Re So MEAN!" (laruocco to her mom about recent bug situation)
had 48 hrs to myself so decided ... do it yourself (tm)Laru(c)co-style rock video!
my Little PC camera with Movie Maker(tm)microsoft froze-up after i shot the entire thing!!!!
this may of be importance to you -(side tirade who's been using my there's "nothing between U & i" line all over the place tho i appreciate your referencing me whilst neoistically still trying to pull off that ppl may Think THAT's me impersonating-myself BADLY which to throw off the scent in the harassment &/or depreciation of others you bastard whomever u or u ppl r, it's a very tired diminishing art form i do Not approve of it just so you know how i feel about the matter.)
you may take particular interest as in the lyrics Within this particular short song "indelible" are: (p)
[ Laruo(c)2011 "... there is nothing -- between U & i
there is no Key
i am your
who will come again
will weight for you
my Soul 's indelible -- my hearts on fire
i still the flame -- my mind is wire... ] & so on - the rest Later [the major thesis of the song is the line MY SOUL's INDELIBLE
(i have the Audio on a recorder & a side video angle that was on at varies times usually not pointing at me & i have a tendency to turn cameras off when i'm trying to turn it on & when i'm ready to turn it off, that's when i realize it & click it on,
YES my life is RATHER FRUSTRATING as well the exciting challenge i bring it & i was particular dyslexic about it in this project.
Anyhoot, i was making the images for that mini-computer lens (it's the "RoombaCam" in particular, actually however it was not vacuuming & stationary floor angle, as i tie on some shoes as i sing for some shot & do some floor singydancelaruoccosht - .. giving double ent'en to the word of 'sole'
strumming a 12 String Kramer Ferrington (acoustic guitar i 'd been hording for months just so when i played it
it wouldn't be tired & experienced
additionally i was using a new style of make up
green glitter over the eyes that sparked when i blinked because i spent an entire day on the lighting
& it was Hot, & i was trying out new style of shoe, this were jazz slippers
& it's FROZEN before it's captured the video!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the thing it usually takes a while to do
after you finish recording & you press the stop button on the mini computer (i'd been getting some nice video
on it so i used it as my Main camera sometimes the only camera & some of the shots i had to repeat
several times like a skipping record to get the glitter to glitter just perfect with a cord & such resonance
the material can Not be reproduced.. the barometric pressure, the sweat, the thunderstorm ambient sounds mixing with mechanics of fans feedback of electronics
i've lost video on that mini computer before too. if i reboot it just goes away.... PLEASE tell me there's something i
can do, i'm trying to delete things around it maybe to free up space
this is sort of like that Flash Drive incident - where i lost the most important piece of 2 hour!@ music & lyrics in a stunt double jam session just by hitting a wrong button in some demonic reflex
in some ways not as bad because i do have the audio
O & at one point in the video where > !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the Lyrics are :[" i Still the flame
in the wind
incombustible yet glow
through all eternity i stop time through thought density
become everything except for you -(it's a feel good love song, on the stuntdbl "Love Album")
there is kNOw distance,] now i'm paraphrasing
it's actually a pretty short song though it took me 2 days straight to produce/ ( side rant ...well i didn't get to the production part but it was recorded, 2 days since i did all the lighting, in CHARGE of all battery charging & set up can be very arduous when i have to reset a fuse or something across the room of tripods & Im in get-up + guitar strapped to me.
up until then it was really just a page-holder & a line on the Album Jacket that says "indelible Goes HERE: To Do":] !!!!!!) !!!!!!!! i sing over a fan about stilling the wind & sea, singing over the choppy blowing wind to make my voice all extra echo-y into the microphone & amplifier & my hairs all blowing up like a flying angel. & i have it perfectly framed for TV screen or Internet viewing
LOOK you, there isnt' any Actual ready-to-be-released music videos out there of me doing rock star songs.. i thought this time let me make the song music video ready at the same time because it's taking forever when the song goes first as the song goes through evolutionary phases of versions as it is. .....
& it IS FROZEN IN TIME. HOW APROPOS! how post modern literature yet Not because
i mean i KNOW my subconscious is working with Technology sabotaging me at interval lost emails etcs. for some greater purpose
& i was coming to understand that all the gearing up reading ready & afterwards of production were much more entertaining even to watch as a viewer - that's why the band "Laruocco Stunt Double" turned into a reality show .. as well
, but THIS IS RIDICULOUS so will the 2 maybe techies who might have some solution for me(jeff & justin) out there & any impersonators or slanders of me who made it this far into reading (you'd be doing yourself a favor if you help me i.e. it would mean More material to steal & drag through the gutter, & i mean that wth the highest respect, i've come to appreciate the attention) plz contact me
with your usually advise that never helps & wastes my time, bc even though that is the CASE i will not rest
or reboot that computer until i've tried every avenue.
How Do i look so good?
i Must be going blind.
i'm usually not one for quotes but here's a line i came across in Confusionist literature to remember:
[ most of us usually fail to achieve happiness because we take the wrong pathway while pursuing goals that satisfy selfish desires or are corrupted by a lust for power and control over others. ]
if i concentrate what pleases me, then everybody around me gets theirs (get's 'iT) just from my internal good nature through osmosis.
i need excuses for motivation just as quick as the next chick.
(that's what i mean by my being "Regular", i'm just like 'Them.')
Although, when *i* look in the mirror, self-depricating as i am
my 1st thought is always
'i'm prettier than i ever was.' just sayin'
Getting rather fond of the neighborly help in getting our cars out of the snow
today i used my legs to pop the Kick Axe out of a spot as dad steered & another woman
joined in. it's thrilling after some chiseling when you free up a car Weee Yeepee
& i FINALLY FOUND A DENTIST WHO 'D WORK ON MY WISDOM TEETH, just wanted an old college try
before i went with an extraction.. being i'd been weighting THIS long
well i got one of them with a cavity filled & it was epiphangelicle! & i mean that in every sense of the word whiTch is pretty engram pinnacle of AD DC kinda allegories
anyways, i wasnt' TOTALLY Crazy, everything is temporary isn't it especially when we're talking about Wisdom Truth.
moral of the story.. after 5 or 6 dentists: found a very gentlemenly dentist who was majorly cool about the whole thing, persistence is not insanity.
meanwhile i don't wanna be redundant. All the explanations of anything or interpretations of lies i was told (by most of my close loved ones)& reassertions of stuff they* [*(if you are reading this it's probably not You)] ... (they) didn't believe (me), so then i second guessed (myself)
bc i gave them the benefit of the doubt on top of their misgivings & missed-trust(distrust)
then they continued to side track(me) & divert to cover their asses with passive aggressive sarcasms, i didn't stand a chance with my
over-concern to the what's & whys then nothing worked, flows never followed through. they sparred me nothing but sorrow & payback, compensation, (& an artist of my magnitude & caliber compromises Nothing! we already Knew what was possible.. what we were capable, what was left to chance to every essence of the direction of the wind to the perfect sound wave to a indiscriminalbe shape color off the spectrum map to a temperature of the oil evaporation rate calculated to the imaginary plane to the most irrational of standard deviation even accounting for human error.*
what i hadn't accounted for was outright betrayal. out right dismissal. total lied to disregarding abandonment. the most lied to lied about stinking lies you can smell thrown around in the most arbitrary nonchalant fashion,
i took belief for granted. i thought it was a given, meanwhile i was the only one doing it.
so yeah, i need it, & if no ones gonna believe me i damn well better believe in myself.
(i mean i have a couple a friends i guess tell some truth, but maybe they are kidding themselves & i am kidding myself - & for even that i hold myself accountable. am i the best one. the only one so truthful & honest in this world - not that i am all all very good, but the only one who sticks entirely to her word at all cost & if i can't - i own up apologetically as if it were the worst of all crimes>
the preist said truth was over rated, yeah, so is surface, eye candy is only skin deep but the interplay of image over occurance over blur over smear over rememberance over interpretation over blood over water over metal over bone over air over nothing
it becomes over nothing, nothing matters any more, but it did
& it Does to me, & it will continue to the last slowest breath in the last loudest longest takeforever laugh that ever happens i assure you it will be mine. i if it is the last thing will own that & no-one can lie that away from me
*ref.:the Molecule of Art laruocco article, just for kicks.
btw the fallic phallus(wORd), 2010 Laruo(c)that's "dick on a stick" - what i mean by "worshipping the Golden Cock /false God", & i've had the sneaking suspicion God's over my shoulder all this time More than in a conspiracy theory-military camera in the birds eye & tv-microchip in the tooth-filling kinda way, & KnoW the power of this communion & tiT's pretty brilliant, my friend, love the video too, rock musics & more guitar goddess video's to follow!
even w/ my kids to accompany me
i was outnumbered this year by misery
walked right into the trap of being home for Christmas
didn't realize not having other plans could become so toxic
it was her (My Mom) & her holier-than-now sidekick neice-my cousin, i brought my X to dinner to be nice '#%for him as i didn't have other plans & actually thought their evilness would cancel each other out - he stayed neutral (he was no help, he mostly stayed-out-of-it like my father only i expect more from him because now he's my Guest!. & i generally expect more from my father bc he's my father but i try not to discredit him for siding his wife (my mother) as that's what i EXPECTED from my husband which is why he's now my x-husband of course. & of course i find my mother the most reprehensible bc not only are her misdeeds heinous, but she's MY MOTHER so i expect the MOSTEST from her that is why it's the MOST wrong of ALL Horribles)
REMIND ME NOT TO BE SO GODDAMN NICE
it's better when i take precautions, when i retaliate
Laruocco dinner conversation to my cousin, "gracious me, it must be so horrible for you
passing such negative & false judgement & having so often to be in a state of biting your lip.. because when you do open your mouth everyone including yourself finds-out the
awfully wrong injustice of your opinions."
my being hated by them for whatever reason, it's not as simple as jealousy, that's too easy
they grew up with scorn, that's all they know & think that's what love is, i fell into that trap as well
& married the male hot version of my mother, who was only slightly nicer & supportive of me..so i must of thought WHAT A PRIZE.
nice & supportive until the point of which he is not...
they think bad behavior is love
they can't even understand nurture & respect.
they'd actually treat me better if i WASN'T a nice person, that's the sad part, because at least i'd be understood.
their sarcasm's are so grossly misintertwined; their evilness confuses most bystanders
i even take too long before i can sift through the commentary to reveal blatant insult stacked upon pure misjudgements & foul outright negativity. good behavior is ridiculed & actually punished in my family. My dad's staying out of it lasts till its breaking point generally sides against me in the slightest hint of my reaction - i fall
but i catch myself quicker & quicker,
i'm wearing a quick silver bell around my nick for the next 7 days
in homage of the new change for the new decade
YEAR in REVIEW:::::: -STAYED DIVORCED
-my biceps are twice the size they started off this year! (to do: Get a phot of that)
-so what i spent More time (CLOCKED MORE hOURS) applying rhinestones to the guitar than playing it
but i still played it more than i did the 5 yrs previous!
-arrived to the esteem of not beating-myself-up about the thousand things i was brought so closely on the verge of doing that i maybe was Supposed "to do"
-i was mom, i was monk, i'm 2 places at once - i wrote those song lyrics!! & 3 albums (the financial album, Laruocco Stunt Double (title ALBUM SO ON SO FORTH...
so what i didn't accomplish the neatly packaged listenable material item(s)
i traversed soul to spirit & slipped into dimensions i'd only referred to previously
time is not moving for me
i cut 2 wisdom teeth - but it is happening SO SLOWly it's the same 2 teeth i was cutting last year
the pressure is building, the force is mounting
things will take as long as they're gonna take
-(one setback is LAYLA cut bangs & i hate the way they frame her face & it's all my fault bc i turned away for the one second it took for her to take the scissor to her hair by mistake.. but it's almost growing out)
-& i perhaps missed a lot of baby modeling she could of done bc my mal-organization of the comp-card not going as swimmingly as is
the production of my back burner novels (Cereal Killer -Genericide Laruoc(C)2010 & the whatit'sliketobeafckingHouseWife-psychoanylis BestSeller
ten years in the making. o so what Happy New Year
Thank You & Goodnite.
(*p.s. SHEEN's communicating, she's so cute i'm gonna eat her up. we all started Karate & my abs turned to diamonds & disappeared, thee end)
- Music:kesha, Take itOoff / la rue, Bullet Proof